Let them eat cake?

As I type this I am surrounded by blood curdling screams assaulting my ear drums. Shrieks of terror are reverberating off the walls.

Is it a scary movie? No.

Corporal punishment being dealt? No.

It’s my kids.

They are screaming and threatening seppuku because I informed them that they would not be allowed to so much as touch their Halloween loot unless they ate their dinner.

What did I make for dinner? Liver? Escargot? Grub salad a’la Fear Factor?

No. Nothing so creative as that. I actually made a brown rice, spinach casserole. I know it sounds gross, but it’s actually quite delicious, if a bit bland. What I made for dinner tonight isn’t really relevant though. My kids react this way every night at dinner, regardless of what’s on the menu.

I don’t know what their deal is. They used to eat a wonderful variety of foods. They would at least try anything I put before them. Now the little bastards wont even eat old favorites. Gone are the days when they would eat lasagna, or spaghetti – I mean, COME ON! Italian food is some serious comfort food. EVERYBODY loves Italian food.

As far as I can tell they are now subsisting on yogurt, Cheerios, granola, cereal bars, the occasional frozen waffle, Kraft Macaroni and Cheese (but ONLY if it’s in the shape of a f#@king CARS character) and a daily prune that they are willing to eat because it’s sweet and sticky. If Karis were in charge, the only thing she would ever eat would be white rice with soy sauce. Yup – the nutritional equivalent of a bag of sand. (Actually, to be fair, Karis will eat salad, just as long as it is ONLY lettuce and carrots. None of those disgusting tomatoes – or, GOD FORBID an avocado.)

I’m at my wits end. I guess I’m not alone, because there are a whole host of cook books and advice books out there for parents in the same situation. I am going to comb through several of them and see if I can’t convince my spawn to eat something that hasn’t partnered with Disney Corporation. You know, something that rhymes with begetable.

This book looks promising:

Has anyone tried it? Do you recommend it? Am I going to have to blaze the trail on this one?

“No-cry” huh? If I can actually get through a full dinner without my progeny reenacting certain scenes from The Exorcist I will be a very happy mom indeed. I’ll let you guys know how it goes.

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  1. Dad

    Wise up kiddo! Give them what they really want…BACON! WTF is brownricespinachcasserole anyway? Does it have bacon in it? Probably not. Remember, even picky eaters still manage to to grow up.



  2. Claudia

    Dude, I can’t believe we haven’t talked about this yet. I’m taking Hen to a special occupational therapist who deals with sensory processing issues because of his sound and food issues. He doesn’t even eat Mac and cheese, the stinker. We have about five things he’ll eat. And yesterday, I got him evaluated as to whether he should be evaluated (complicated) by the school district and I may be in denial about this, but I believe those five women were judging me when I listed the foods he did eat. Judging me!

    So, yea, I sympathize. I haven’t heard of that book, but I guess it’s by the same makers as the “No-cry Sleep Solution” which was a pretty good book. Ultimately useless, but the philosophy of “Hang in there, Mom!” is good. So it’s “Hang in there!” combined with lots of suggestions. Far better than the other, far more sadistic books on sleeping that I was given.

    *sigh* Motherhood. xoxo


  3. Dr. Cynicism

    “They are screaming and threatening seppuku” Holy lord, I snorted my morning coffee after reading that — hilarious!


  4. Amy Cappelli

    You are definitely not alone. Out of four kids, I have ONE good eater; and, even he has become picky after a really bad bout of the stomach flu. When my oldest was four- he lived on Cheerios and chicken and stars soup. I have a story on my blog called the Taste Assignment which illustrates his abhorrence of food. My oldest hasn’t outgrown his pickiness/ stubbornness about food. As he has entered the teenage years- we have paid his friends (behind his back, of course) to lay on some peer pressure to try new fare. So far they were able to get him to try pizza (yes, my kid has not eaten pizza since he was 18 months old) and Chinese food. He gagged on the pizza and vowed never to eat it again. And the Chinese food was only plain fried rice (I mean with absolutely nothing mingling with it) and sweet and sour chicken (he left off the sweet and sour sauce and drenched it with Hot Sauce). I’ve often wondered if my kid is a Super Taster or just a pain in the ass. Hang in there- I’m hanging on with you too.


  5. Kristy (Post author)

    Dad – always a font of helpful advice. Thanks. 😛

    Claudia – I take comfort in rationalizing that they’ll be so accustomed to processed garbage that they’ll be able to survive the apocolypse along with cockroaches.

    Dr. Cynicism – I’m so happy I made you snort coffee. I’m one of those obnoxious people that only drink orange juice in the morning. (I’ve got to save my liver function for all those lemon drop martini’s I down.)

    Amy – I don’t know what I would do in your situation. Probably pull out all my hair. Will he at least eat/drink smoothies?


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