We went to hang out in New Jersey this weekend. Vanessa and Andrew played host to my family, Mugga, Jenny and Jenny’s fiance, David. Why am I giving you a guest log? I am simply trying to establish that there were many adults in residence. Some might say there were an overwhelming number of adults in residence. Why does this matter? Because when you run into ONE zombie, it can be a little intimidating, but when you happen upon SIX zombies, you tend to lose your shit. Especially if you’re 3 years old. Case in point:

Mugga loves to mess with skin. She likes to massage it, put oils on it, exfoliate it – you name it. If it can be done to skin, Mugga wants to do it. This weekend she brought a clay mask with her. She was very excited to give everyone a facial with this Dead Sea mask.

Sunday morning found us all lounging about the living room watching Whale Wars. Mugga took this opportunity to pounce! She mixed up the clay powder with apple cider vinegar (Pee-u!) and began passionately slathering it all over us. Karis was there, watching me get green goop smeared all over my face, so I didn’t think she’d get freaked out considering she watched the transformation take place. I was wrong.

Karis wandered outside to draw with sidewalk chalk while Mugga continued to apply massive amounts of stinky Dead Sea sludge to every face in the house – except Jesse’s. He was playing with Brecken outside.

When I put on a mask like that, I never really give much thought to what my face looks like to other people. I tend to think in generic terms. My face looks green. So what. Only as I looked at the other masked people around me did I notice that the masks looked a bit eerie. As the clay dried, it left pockets of deeper color on the cheeks. The result was a very zombie-like appearance. Cue Karis, stage left.

Karis came scampering into the living room and stopped abruptly. She took in the six green zombies staring back at her, and screamed in horror. Our attempts to chase after her to soothe her, only served to frighten her more. I yelled for Jesse, knowing he was the only non-zombie looking person around. The poor kid was seriously traumatized. Once we calmed her down and she realized we weren’t interested in snacking on her brains, she went back outside to play with her chalk again.

It wasn’t until later that Jesse pointed out what she had done to her chalk drawing. She had given her chalk people green clay zombie face masks. And that is how I am doing my part to insure job security for therapists of the future. You’re welcome.

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