Make dinner your bitch! (pumpkin cake)

pumpkin cake1

This shit fucking rules! I got it from a  Mormon bitch , and you know my Mormon bitches know what’s up when it comes to desserts, motherfuckers.

Grab this shit and get your cook on:

  • 1 package of yellow cake mix (reserve 1 cup for topping)
  • 1/2 cup butter, melted
  • 1 egg

Straight up mix that shit together and press it into a greased 11 x 13 pan.

pumpkin cake2

For the filling:

  • 2 cups of canned pumpkin
  • 2 eggs
  • 2/3 cup of canned milk
  • 1/2 cup brown sugar
  • 1/2 teaspoon of ginger
  • 1 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon

mix that shit together with a mixer. If you do it by hand, do it like you mean it – really punish that son-of-a-bitch, and pour it over the cake mix in the pan, asshole.

pumpkin cake3

For the topping:

  • 1 cup reserved cake mix
  • 1/4 cup of sugar
  • 1 teaspoon of cinnamon
  • 1/4 cup butter

Cut that butter into the topping ingredients until crumbly. You might need to use a fork and really get all up in there! Fuck that shit up.

pumpkin cake4

Spread those crumbles all over the top of that cake, then bake that shit for 50 to 60 fucking minutes at 350 motherfucking degrees.

pumpkin cake5

Serve it warm or serve it cold, but don’t even THINK about serving this bitch up without whip cream!

pumpkin cake6

Now I just know all you assholes are gonna LOVE this. I usually make this dish for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but make it whenever the fuck you want, and if anybody has anything to say about it, tell them to go fuck themselves. Enjoy.

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Facebook comments:


  1. Randi

    Kristy – what the hell???! LOL. Everything ok over there? 😉


  2. Lori

    Hey! Do you kiss your favorite aunt with that mouth?!? I think you need to put like $973.00 in the swear jar now! As for the recipe, I like it best when your mom makes it for me!!


  3. Kristy (Post author)

    Calm down ladies. This is a new section I’m adding to the blog for those of you who, like myself, don’t feel the love in the kitchen.
    I get so bored while cooking, yet I must do it multiple times everyday.
    My ranting style was inspired by this guy:
    I may be juvenile, but it cracks me up!
    As a mom to two talkers, I’m not allowed to shout this at full volume – so I’ll write it, and perhaps inspire a snicker or two from fellow mothers with swear jars of their own.
    So, suck it up bitches, and if you have a recipe you want featured, just email it to me. Feel free to add in your own expletives, or I can put them in myself!
    Love ya!


  4. Mariah

    I love it! You crack me up!!


  5. Andrew

    What would Karis say???

    Or rather… what WILL Karis say when she figures out how to find/read mommy’s blog? The possibilities are… hilarious!


  6. donna merrill

    The picture looks very “retro”…like it belongs in my kitchen. A little advice from the step-mother-in-law: Buy one next time and say you made it! You have 2 kids to worry about and too much going on. Next time, buy your contribution and get your nails done instead. lol Happy Turkey Day!


  7. vanessa

    she’s not joking this shit tastes fucken good. thanks for the recipe, gonna go whip that shit up.


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