Indefensible Idiocy
Low wife, high wife, midwife, my wife
Share 30 weeks with Karis Let me preface this post with the assurance that this blog isn’t about to turn into the Primamomma Pregnancy Extravaganza Blog, where it’s all pregnancy, all the time! We’re already into the second trimester, and you’ve heard nary a peep about it. (It’s hard for me to stomach those women … Continue reading
Dead meat
ShareJust so you know, I made it four whole paragraphs into this post before I realized today was April first. Well played, Red Box. Well played indeed. So I open my email today and see a message from Red Box. (For those of you who don’t know, Red Box is a movie rental kiosk … Continue reading
iPhail
ShareLast weekend. Let’s talk about it, shall we? First let me inform you that yesterday, while attempting to grate an apple (don’t ask) I cut through the top of my thumb, so now I am typing this with a band-aid on my thumb. It makes for sloppy typing. Also, it is impossible to grate an … Continue reading
Unnecessary modeling
Share“Hmmm. I’ve got this up-cycled afghan I wanted to post to Etsy, but I really feel it needs to be modeled.” “Couldn’t you just lay it across a bed or something? I mean, it is an afghan.” “No, no, no, that wont do. I need a model to model it. A nude model.” “Okay. I’ll … Continue reading
One flu over the cuckoo’s nest
ShareJesse had an important meeting today and needed a good night’s sleep. Under article 57, section IV of the Good Child Handbook, that means Brecken was required to begin a coughing fit at 01:00 hours that lasted until 03:00 hours. Brecken takes his job very seriously, and followed his Good Child Handbook instructions to the … Continue reading
Ninja drill
ShareLast Monday Karis was very excited to tell me about the drill they had done in school that day. “We all got under our desks!” She said excitedly. When I was a kid in California, we had earthquake drills where everyone got under their desks. “Was it an earthquake drill?” I asked. “No.” She answered. … Continue reading
Several hours of my life I will never get back.
ShareI have a medical condition called RedBoxitis. Whenever Jesse rents something from Red Box I have to watch it – no matter how busy I am, or how shitty the movie promises to be. In the past week he has rented three movies. THREE MOVIES? Who the hell does he think I am? I have … Continue reading
Bisquick to make assumptions
Share As the sun began its languid climb over the horizon this morning I was in the middle of an exciting, earth shattering dream. My subconscious mind had stumbled upon the origin of the name Bisquick! In my dream, a chef asked me and a group of other cheflings (I’ve just coined that term. It … Continue reading
I put the EX in sexy!
ShareInternet. I went to the doctor today because I had a suspicious, target-like bug bite and got myself all worked up over Lyme disease. I had almost talked myself out of going, then I thought, if I saw this bug bite on one of the kids, I would DEFINITELY take them in to be seen. … Continue reading
